Some stuff about me, my job and my work..

Attention, you will be reading a lot of "unimportant" stuff from here on. Continue at your own risk.

First of all, I'm happy. Yes, I can say that without telling lies or setting up a fake smile. I'm not happy because I'm a lucky bastard that has no problems. I'm happy because I am on a level where I'm able to solve my problems on my own, without falling into depression. I'm always afraid to fail, especially in important things. This ends now.
There is no failing. There is only a next try.

Don't ask me why that happened. I don't understand the change myself. I guess it happened with my new job. In October, when I started, I had enough time for me, my work and everything around but I only did...well...not too graphic-heavy works. Little Designs anybody out there could do if he/she would know Microsoft Programs. Now, in February, I finally do what I always wanted to do. DESIGN!
Compared to my schedule before that, I'M DROWNING IN WORK, but I'm doing so with a blissful smile on my lips. Why? Cause I love it! I don't know if I'm allowed to post the things I'm doing at work but if so, I will definitely show you some stuff. Just one thing, don't be afraid. Most of the graphics I draw at work are not even close to the subjects I draw private.

Another point that might make me happy is that I'm finally, after many many years, able to start my therapy. I'm uber-curious and nervous because of the first appointment. It's a group therapy and I have to admit, except of one close friend and some online-buds I don't know many transgender, MTF, FTM, etc. I never had the chance to find some around me and the ones I found were, well, not really that kind of persons I can keep contact with. Maybe I can make new friends or find people I can at least talk with.
Please, don't get me wrong. I have some friends I can talk to but only one is actually having the same "problem". All others do understand me though but it isn't quite the same.
Right now I want to take the chance to thank those nice persons. My girl, the main reason why I am what I am now. My friends and buddies all around the internet and all those others that are so nice to talk to me from time to time. It's pretty hard for me to get in contact with other people and to find friends so I'm really happy for all those people that leave a comment or just a little shout and talk with me. Of course, I am also happy for all the favs and watches and so on. They are worth exactly the same.

Another thing that is really important to me is patience. Patience for myself because I'm in a lot of changes right now. Changes that are affecting me, my future and people around me. I am also very glad to know that others have so much patience with me. Especially the ones that are doing "business" with me. Traders and commissioners are very important to me but I have to be honest, I suck at deadlines or doing art in a short amount of time. I want to change that! Right now I start to set myself rules and deadlines for a lot of my own stuff so I can keep up to commission timelimits. I want to be able to finish a fully colored picture between 1 and 2 weeks. That would be a big goal for me. Right now I still have 5 commissions to finish and I already started the sketches and such but there is so much to do between my "private work" (commissions, art trades, own pictures) and my job that I had to put them aside again. I will of course continue as soon as possible but right now it's a bit problematic especially because of a new timetable that will come with the next Wednesday. I hope I can get times that leave me enough free time for art. So, once again, thanks for all the patience and time you are granting me. I'm happy that my art is worth that much too you. Thanks!

I guess now is the time to tell you people something about the main reason why you are here, my art. You might have noticed that I haven't drawn anything "good" since some time. Mostly quick art with no progress at all. The reason for this was a nice little style-change. I moved a step further into comic-style and I LIKE IT!
Look at this please: [link]
On the left side is my first attempt at a character of mine in my "detailed" headshot style. On the right the new headshot and the new style. I really like the left shot but I freaking love the style I'm developing now (on the right). I'm a big Art Noir fan and this woudl totally fit that new style. If you want an example, please look:


This brings me to the last subject, Cold Law. You already saw the cover for it (link above). I got some questions if Cold Law is going to be a comic or a piece of literature. Well, for now it's planed as a graphic novel. I will draw Cover, Chapter Covers, Character Portraits and some important scenes from the story (or illustrations) but that's all for now. My brain twitches in happiness when I think about Cold Law as a comic but....I guess it's too much work for now. I might turn this thing into a comic if I finish the whole story. For me it's more important to have a story with some illustrations than having a half assed comic (again...). The main reason why I decided to write and not to draw is, my English.....sucks. Yes it sucks as hell compared to the standard I had some years ago. This happened because I had shitty english classes and barely read any english stories, books, etc. I really want to change that! I want to be at least as good as I was back then or even better! This means, writing, writing, writing and checking out my beloved dictionaries.


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